Love Lessons: Teaching Our Kids to Love Themselves

Feb 13, 2020

It’s February so queue all the romantic commercials and marketing messages that tell us we need somebody to send us flowers, take us to dinner or buy us jewelry to feel loved or be loved.

Hey. I’m all for telling the people in my life that I love them and showing them that I love them. As a parent, I believe my most important job is to make sure my kids know they are loved. But, it’s not just my love for them that they need. They need to learn to love themselves.

As moms, we may be the worst example of how to do this. Just the fact that #momguilt is a regular phrase in our society shows how much pressure moms constantly put on themselves. How can we teach our children to love themselves when we so often criticize ourselves for not being enough? We must model self-love first if our children are going to learn to love themselves. Here are a few ways how.

Evaluate How You Talk to Yourself

Do you verbally criticize yourself in front of your children? Maybe in a conversation about what’s for dinner or as you get dressed and look in the mirror you say “I look terrible” or “I’m so fat.” Do you say “I hate my ___.”

Model self-love by eliminating these negative statements. Better yet, when you start to think those negative thoughts, replace them with something positive and verbalize it.

I had an eating disorder in high school and college. So I know that I have to be extra conscious of how I talk about my body. I don’t want my children to fall into the misery and danger I did striving to look like the girls in magazines.

Conversation Starter

Take turns answering these questions with your kids. Their answers may lead to some surprises or open the door for important conversations with teens.

  • I am proud of the way I ____ at work/home/school
  • I feel healthy when I _____
  • One thing I like about my personality is _____
  • What is something I am good at?
  • I am a good friend because ____

Be Kind To Yourself

As you strive to do it all and be all things, remember you are human. Be kind to yourself. None of us is perfect, no matter what somebody’s Instagram feed may look like. You are worthy of being loved and the most important love you need first is your own.

love notes for kids printable square